Pistol On The Run
by CabooseHeart
Summary: RvB Guns For Hire AU. When The Thief needs help on a mission, it's The Soldier and Recovery who happen to join him on a rather… odd mission. The heat is on as York delivers his 'package' to wherever it may be needed, but even more danger is on the way as poisonous clouds start coming in from the north. Will The Thief, Recovery, and The Soldier survive to fight another day?


**Pistol On The Run**

**AU: RvB Guns For Hire**

**Description: When The Thief needs help on a mission, it's The Soldier and Recovery who happen to join him on a rather… odd mission. The heat is on as York delivers his 'package' to wherever it may be needed, but even more danger is on the way as poisonous clouds start coming in from the north. Will The Thief, Recovery, and The Soldier survive to fight another day?**

**A/N: I'm not fully sure how old all the AI are in this AU, but I've at least dug into it enough to know 'bout the clouds, so there's that. This is really short, but I like it.**

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><p>"Tell me again why we're breaking into a hospital?" Recovery asked as he leaned against the wall, staring down at the thief he'd come to know as York.<p>

Thief rolled his eyes under his helmet, refocusing on the lock he was busily picking open. "Don't ask questions, Wash. I thought you outgrew that rookie stuff?"

"I did!" Recovery insisted, his voice going up an octave from his outburst. "I'm not some dumb kid anymore!"

"Says the kid who still uses that swirly straw." Soldier commented offhandedly, resulting in Thief laughing at Recovery. "Seriously, I wanna know why we're here too to be honest. Last time I checked, mob bosses don't hide in hospitals."

"Unless one of us puts them there." Recovery added, yanking out one of the many knives CT had given him ages ago, tossing it to himself. "'Course, they'd probably be in a few pieces… or chunks… depends on who put them there."

Soldier rolled her eyes, looking away from the two men. "And not get the job done? Please, none of my victims end up in the hospital, only a casket on a one way trip to Hell."

Thief stopped, turning around to stare at Tex. "… You know, you might make more friends if you tried to not scare everyone shitless. Maybe find a hobby, like hockey. You seem like a hockey gal to me."

"Just focus on the lock, Thief." Soldier ordered, going back into business mode as she yanked out one of her pistols, looking it over. "You never know when shit'll hit the fan."

"You sound like 479 when you say crap like that." Thief explained, unlocking the door after another few seconds, standing up with a sigh of relief. "Finally. You two wait here, I'll be back with the package in five."

"I'm going in with you." Soldier stated, looking eager for some action, and busting into a once well-locked door seemed likely to lead her to it. "It might get dangerous in there."

Thief shook his head. "You and Wash get outside and call 479, tell her I've got the package. She'll know where to take us."

"Fuck," Recovery commented in the background, looking over his wrist watch, which was flashing purple. "We got a storm incoming!"

"Dammit…" Thief trailed off, trying to figure out what course of action would be best, but in the end ran inside the room, shutting it as he entered. "I'll be right back, I promise!"

"York!" Soldier stopped, realizing it was a lost cause. When The Thief set his heart on something, nothing could stop him. "Fuck, come on, Wash. We gotta call 479 and get outta here. We're not in a sealed building. Of all the places to rob, had to be on the poor side of town…"

The two Freelancers took off down the hallway, swinging around to head down a flight of stairs. The elevators would be overrun with desperate doctors and nurses, and the stairs were a safer bet, since most people had superstitions about using the stairs during cloud storms. They got down quickly, hearing a loud slam from upstairs, followed by an 'I got it!' via Thief. Without stopping, they kept going, knowing well enough that Thief would be out with them soon. As they got outside, Recovery called 479, glad to find out that she was already in the area.

"Think you can come get us? York told me to tell you he has some sorta package…" Recovery explained, trailing off. He wished he had more details so that he didn't sound like some forgetful moron. "He wouldn't tell us anything else."

"Aw shit, that was today!?" 479 yelled, making Recovery almost wish he hadn't been wearing his helmet, had it not been for the clouds. "God, how could I forget? You guys hold tight, I'll be there in a sec!"

"We don't got a sec!" Thief shouted, finally catching up to them all. Against his chest was a wrapped up package, looking about the size of a small dog or puppy. "We can't get caught in this storm!"

"Thief, we're wearing helmets." Recovery pointed out, but nonetheless was stressed about the incoming clouds. "Even if it comes before 479, we'll be alright for a bit."

"The package won't," Thief explained, looking down at it almost regretfully. "Just… we gotta go! Now!"

Just then, 479 finally pulled up, just as a cloud started coming down on the town. "Get in!" She shouted, not wasting any time in closing the doors as they all piled into the van, locked away as the clouds finally consumed the city.

Able to breathe easier now, Thief sighed with content, leaning back in his seat. "Once again 479, you're fashionably late."

"Hey, I got a busy schedule! You'd think a guy could remind me before he goes ahead and busts my balls about being late!" 479 complained, but nonetheless seemed content that they were safe. "Come on, we better go before Number One freaks and finds out how close you were to losing the package."

"Seriously, what's the package!?" Soldier asked loudly, beating Recovery right to it. "I've been running around with you all day without a clue as to what it is you were after! We've been through three hospitals, two doctors offices, a preschool-"

"Not to mention that retirement home," Recovery audibly shivered, rubbing his arms in silent horror. "They wouldn't stop asking if I wanted to date their gay grandsons…"

"We had to go through gay grandsons, York. Gay. Grandsons." Soldier stated, as if it were a crime against humanity. "Now tell me what the Hell is going on, or I swear I-"

She stopped dead in her tracks as Thief opened the package just enough for her to see inside, along with Recovery, both staring in amazement.

"… Oh…"

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><p>"YORK!"<p>

"Sounds like I've been miss- OW!"

Thief stood there, the package in one arm while his other was using it's hand to rub his now slapped cheek, wincing at the pain as Number One glared at him dead in the eye, her own green pair bursting with anger and worry. Soldier tried desperately not to laugh as Thief shot her an accusing look, while she shrugged at him in response, Recovery not even trying to hold back his laughter.

"What can I tell ya, Number One? Other than the fact that your boyfriend here is reckless and idiotic?" Soldier asked, taking a seat on an old busted up couch in the living room they'd gathered in. "He's the one who refused to tell me what he was going after."

"Come on, 'Lina," Thief was going for a more flirty approach, holding out the package gently. "If I hadn't gone, D would've died 'cus of those dumbass doctors."

Number One, despite her angry mood, relaxed a bit, calming herself down before daring to grab the package, unwrapping it to stare down at Delta, their three day old son. "Thanks," She finally mumbled, sighing deeply. "Guess you were right about that hospital…"

"Hey, we were desperate. It's not everyday some mercs show up, one about to burst with a baby bomb!" Thief pointed out, only to earn a hard punch in the arm via Soldier. "Ow, not you too!"

"Don't call it a 'Baby Bomb'," Soldier ordered, walking up to Number One, looking into Delta's brilliantly green eyes, matching his mother's pair. "I had Omega a few months back, remember?"

"Yeah, and he's doing more than teething now!" Recovery complained, looking over at where CT was seated, with Omega on her lap, looking at him innocently. "He'll have the teeth of a lion, that I promise."

"Hush," Soldier ordered, then looked to Number One, going a bit softer. "He looks beautiful, 'Lina. You're gonna be a great mom, I mean, you can't fuck up more than me, right?"

"You haven't fucked up yet." CT promised, patting Omega on the head. "And is it me, or is the fact that we keep naming our babies after the Greek alphabet strange?"

Thief shrugged, happily accepting Delta as the infant was handed to him. "Naw, it's freaking awesome!"

"Well what kind of name is Delta anyhow, or Omega for that matter!?" CT asked, helmet pointed to the ceiling, as if she had been talking to God.

Down the hall, a mixed gurgle/growl summed up an added 'What kind of name is Sigma?' from the resident tank. "I agree with CT and Meta, our naming system is getting really weird." Recovery explained, sitting up. "I mean, soon we'll be naming kids Kappa and Pi!"

Soldier shook her head, unconvinced. "Aren't you expecting a kid soon, Wash?" She inquired, looking him over.

"Yeah, he's my nephew, his name is Epsil-" Recovery stopped dead in his tracks, looking up at Soldier with a shine on his helmet that could only be described as full on hatred. "I hate you. So much."

"You're lucky I actually like you guys." Soldier stated matter-of-factly, allowing CT to hand Omega to her. "Now if you'll excuse me, I gotta feed my kid." With that, she walked off.

There was a moment of silence, only int interrupted by Thief and Number One quietly cooing at their baby.

"Still, why the Greek alphabet?"

"Shut up, Wash."

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><p><strong>AN: I thought it was alright, not my best work, but it'll do for now. Not sure if I got the AI right but I think either way that it was really sweet, plus, I got to have motherly/badass Tex, so there's a bonus! Please R&R or comment!**

**~CabooseHeart.**


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